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Everyone calls me “Happy Jack” or The Smiling Assassin—the high-energy guy on the basketball court. But it wasn’t always like this.
In college, I was bitter and angry at the world. On my worst days, people couldn’t stand me. From the moment I woke up, I was already anticipating bedtime. I lived for the next holiday, the next escape, the next ‘thing’ I thought would finally make me happy. I hid behind video games, drinking, and vaping to mask how I felt—unhappy and angry.
As I mentioned in Article 1, I had started taking accountability for how I felt and was searching for ways to grow. I knew that something had to change if I wanted a successful professional career in basketball.
“Sometimes taking a leap forward means leaving a few things behind.” – Ekko
The Big Goal Mindset
All through college, my iPhone screensaver was the same picture:
“When I make the NBA, I will feel good, I will be happy, I will be enough.”
I believed life was all about having a big goal and working toward it, no matter what. But living only for a future dream meant I never enjoyed the present moment. This led to:
Dissatisfaction with life
Burnout and exhaustion
Fear of failure
Missing out on the day-to-day beauty of life
I soon realized that without a strong sense of being where your feet are—fully present—you’re on an unsteady base. Heading into my pro career, I couldn’t keep the same mindset I had in college. I needed a new approach, one that grounded me in the present and allowed me to enjoy life now.
Meeting Jacob Wiley
Thankfully, a mentor stepped into my life during my rookie year with the Adelaide 36ers: Jacob Wiley. He was an import—a high-energy hooper who had played around the world (NBA, NBL, Europe). I was immediately drawn to his work ethic, passion for life, and remarkable story.
Jacob Wiley grew up in Long Beach, California, amid gangs, violence, and poverty. At 14, he moved to Newport, Washington, living with his father in his grandparents’ attic. His life seemed directionless—he skipped school, hung out with the wrong crowd, and avoided academics.
Then one day, everything changed.
Wiley woke up to find his father lifeless beside him. His dad had passed away from alcoholism. As a young teenager, this was his reality—a devastating tragedy.
But when Wiley shared this story with me, his tone was surprising. Rather than anger, he said:
“I am grateful for that moment.”
I was stunned. I was angry about not making the NBA yet and bitter over my college career. Meanwhile, here was someone who had faced unimaginable challenges—and instead of resentment, he felt gratitude. That tragic day became the catalyst for his transformation; he started attending school and dedicated himself to track and basketball, eventually laying the foundation to become a professional player.
In that moment, I realized that my rookie year would be about more than just basketball. It would be about learning to enjoy the journey and truly be where my feet are. I discovered that gratitude was the missing piece.
Why I Hated the Word “Gratitude”
Before meeting Jacob Wiley, I despised the word gratitude. It always felt like people were using it to shut me down:
“Shut up and be grateful for what you have.”“If I were in your position, I’d be grateful.”
I saw it as manipulation—someone else telling me how I should feel. But Wiley’s story turned that assumption on its head. He showed me the true essence of gratitude.
The True Essence of Gratitude
Psychologist Robert Emmons defines gratitude as:
“A felt sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life.”
Gratitude can arise spontaneously—when someone shows you kindness or you experience a meaningful moment. But it can also be practiced intentionally by shifting your perspective. Over time, consistently practicing gratitude rewires your brain, making thankfulness a habit rather than a fluke.
What Changed My Mind
I started reading about gratitude and came across an Australian author, Hugh van Cuylenburg, and his book The Resilience Project. He taught in a remote Indian village where children lived in extreme poverty yet exuded immense happiness, resilience, and kindness. They naturally practiced gratitude daily—finding joy in a worn-down playground, sharing a single pencil in class, or expressing thanks before each meal.
It was a stark contrast to the mental health challenges we see in developed countries. And it sparked an interest in me—if they can practice it so naturally, maybe I could learn as well.
The Benefits of Gratitude
Modern psychology confirms that gratitude practice can:
Enhance mental well-being
Improve cardiovascular health
Strengthen social relationships
Reduce inflammation
Boost motivation
For Jacob Wiley, gratitude helped him process and reframe his trauma. In my case, it took me from a victim mentality—where I blamed the universe for every setback—to a place of empowerment.
Building Resilience
At its core, gratitude builds resilience by combining mental toughness, emotional strength, and the ability to adapt after challenges. This is especially crucial in basketball, where mistakes, bench time, and failed tryouts are all but guaranteed. Gratitude helped me weather these hurdles—something I severely lacked in college.
Turning Obstacles into Opportunities
The second book that influenced me was The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday. This is where I learned the Stoic concept of amor fati—love of fate.
Holiday recounts the story of Thomas Edison, whose entire laboratory complex burned down in 1914. At 67 years old, Edison stood watching his life’s work in flames. Instead of panicking, he told his son:
“Go get your mother and all her friends. They’ll never see a fire like this again.”
The next day, Edison began rebuilding with renewed creativity. That devastating fire burned away old ideas and cleared the path for some of his best work. He found a way to love the good and the bad—practicing gratitude for all of it.
“Gratitude isn’t just about acknowledging the good—it’s also recognizing that even our struggles teach us. It reframes challenges as opportunities for growth.” – Ryan Holiday
Building a Gratitude Practice
When I first started my gratitude journal, it felt forced. I had trouble coming up with even five things I was grateful for. But around the two-week mark, it clicked.
Suddenly, I noticed changes:
I felt more excited to start the day.
Connecting with friends became more natural.
My confidence went up.
My basketball performance started improving.
Gratitude was realigning my life—something I’d never experienced before. For the first time, I truly enjoyed the ups and downs, triumphs and failures, that come with chasing big dreams.
Action Steps for Practicing Gratitude
1. Daily Gratitude Journaling
Every night, write down five things you’re grateful for.
They can be big or small—the more specific, the better.
To deepen the experience, try a breathing practice (like box breathing or the Wim Hof Method) right before you journal.
2. Story-Based Gratitude Practice
Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman suggests replaying a story in your mind of when someone was grateful for you.
Write about a time you did something meaningful for someone else. How did they feel? How did you feel?
Doing this each night can help solidify gratitude as a habit.
Summary
Gratitude transformed my life. It shifted my mindset from victimhood to empowerment, anchored me in the present, and fueled my basketball performance. My rookie year taught me that gratitude isn’t just about being thankful for the good—it’s also about recognizing the growth possible in our struggles and failures.
In the long, demanding journey of basketball, there are setbacks every week—missed shots, bench time, or conflicts with coaches. Gratitude fosters resilience, enabling us to endure and enjoy the path.
Key Takeaways
Gratitude is both emotional and cognitive—you can feel it spontaneously and also cultivate it intentionally.
Even setbacks are gifts when viewed through the lens of growth and learning.
Daily practice (like journaling) helps turn gratitude from an occasional feeling into an ingrained habit.
Being present—“where your feet are”—unlocks joy in the journey, not just the destination.
Coming Next: The Trap of Delusion
In next week’s article, we’ll explore how I was living in a state of delusion —one that I needed my coach, Joey Wright, to break me out of.
Thank you for reading! Feel free to connect for any questions or thoughts.